Note to self: Farming requires a lot of equipment.
Somehow we didn't get that memo.
Recently we needed to corral our sheep. Corralling sheep is difficult when you don't have a corral.
Or sheep dogs. Or technical know-how.
Or anything remotely helpful, really.
But we did have 4 acres of penned in space and my inherently flawed idea that I could just run them down.
This was the plan:
First, I'd mosey up all sneaky-like. Then I'd sprint toward the herd and fling myself onto the nearest sheep.
Then Anna could run over with her vet-to-go kit, administer a gargle of anti-snail mouthwash, and give it a shot of meds.
Release sheep, high five, repeat.
Sure, launching myself at them would probably scare the crap out of them and scatter the flock. But they're sheep. What doesn't scare them?
Besides, if they bolted we'd just lure them back with oats. They always come back for oats. So as long as I managed to snag one each time we could just repeat this process until they were all vaccinated.
Anyway, that was the theory.
Here are some shots from the first 2.7 seconds of this attempt:
Total fail.
Turns out sheep are as untrusting of rapidly approaching threatening figures as they are quick. Who knew?
So we gave up and re-grouped around the internet. Luckily for us our neighbour (who also has sheep) forwarded us this video:
This was pretty helpful.
I mean, just look at this champ. Who's his BFF? Buzz Lightyear?
Only a person with total self-confidence leaves the house dressed like that. So listen up, this guy's got something to say.
All you have to do is note your pressure zones, keep fluid, and provide avenues of escape so your sheep will choose to go where you want them to go. Basic animal psychology.
Seriously, take another look. This is like the Ted Talks of sheparding.
Anna absorbed all this information...none of it really stuck for me.
What can I say? I guess I'll always be from the “Crazed Luchadore” school of sheep herding.
But I had my chance.
Heading back to the pasture, I screwed together a maze of temporary fencing using whatever we had on hand.
Screwing together temporary crap always kills me.
I hate making clap-trap constructs. Oh, it kills me. Grabbing an unmeasured length of 2x4 and anchoring it to the side of something barely standing with whatever screws I have on hand? ...shoot me now.
But these animals are fighting off parasites, right? So buck up and get the job done.
So there we are. Back at the pasture. Funnel-fencing up. Our goal: lead them into the shelter and lock it down.
Pretty much my role was just to hide around the corner, trying not to look like the guy who had chased them around the field like a psycho.
So there I crouched. Gripping my sheet of plywood, ready to spring.
Every once in a while I poked my head around the shack for a look.
“I'm doing it!” Anna shouted, lurching back and forth, maneuvering the sheep.
“You're doing it!” I agreed.
“Shut up! You're scaring them!”
“I'm not doing anything!”
“Shut it!”
The sheep saw me and tensed.
“I got them! I got them!” I said, stepping out from behind the shack, moving back and forth like that human Pixar guy from the video.
“What are you doing?” Anna asked.
“I'm helping.”
“You're not helping!”
“I'm helping! I...oh shit...”
The sheep started to panic and break up.
I ducked behind the shack and tucked into a ball.
I guess it wasn't necessary for me to tuck into a ball. I was completely out of sight. But maybe animals sense auras or something. In the moment I thought if I totally submitted maybe they'd come back. What can I say? You gotta commit.
“I'm using drawing pressure!” Anna shouted. “Now I'm using driving pressure!...It's working!”
I could hear them clomping and bounding. When sheep choose a direction to go, they go. And they were definitely going toward the shack.
A moment later I heard them all clomping into the shelter.
“I got them! I got them!” Anna shouted.
That was my cue. I grabbed the sheet of plywood and ran around the front.
Anna was blocking the entrance, the sheep were in. I slapped the plywood into place and screwed it down. Then I flopped over to help.
“Who's next?” I asked.
We had already vaccinated a number of them. (Randomly).
A while before this I managed to grab a few. Back when I had their trust. This minor victory is what gave me the false hope I could jump them all.
That time I kind of just drop tackled them. It worked, but it was an awkward scene. Two hundred pound me flopping down onto a fifty pound sheep...and then getting dragging around in circles across the dung-covered hay like a poorly rigged Super Dave Osborne prop.
Also, since that attempt the temperature had dropped to surface-of-Mars levels. And stayed there. A couple weeks of minus twenty to mid minus thirties. No time to mess around.
Anyway, this time we did it right. Got them into the shack, flipped them onto their haunches one by one and finished the job. All gargled, all vaccinated.
...all good? I sure hope so.
I removed the plywood from the front of the shack and the flock bounded out. I watched as they took a rip through the snow. Stepping out into that wind made the minus thirty five feel like minus a hundred.
But there was something in that moment. The dull winter sky with it's foggy dot of a sun hanging just above the horizon. The bare, dead clumps of vegetation poking up through the snow covered prairie. These animals with their huge coats and bare legs pounding through it all. And my wife and I watching them, squinting out from wraps of clothing, trying to figure them out.
You're going to laugh...but it made me think that if it really came down to it we could survive an ice age.
If anything it's good practice.
Come on, we're doing it! Even Mama Llama is bouncing back. I mean, she just pulled through three solid weeks of cold-as-it-ever-gets temperatures. And she's looking great. Well, not great. But still chewing! Standing!...Not dead!
Instead of heading back in, we lingered a bit.
Anna walked out and directed the flock. Got them to move in a clump just by backing away and stepping in, moving side to side when she needed to. It was crazy how quickly they responded to her. And I was in plain view and they weren't pissed!
We could do it, we could survive an ice age. Humanity pulled it off once before, right? I know we could make it.
I mean...
...as long as we had pre-mixed vet supplies.
...and internet tutorials.
...and probably a bunch of other stuff.
Crap. I should be making a list.
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October 2024
- Oct 16, 2024 2025 Calendar is here! Oct 16, 2024
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September 2024
- Sep 25, 2024 Fibre & Farm Fall Market - Saturday, Oct 5, 2024 Sep 25, 2024
- Sep 22, 2024 Top 10 Take-Aways from Sheep & Wool Camp - by Jane Westheuser Sep 22, 2024
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June 2024
- Jun 7, 2024 Why Natural Dye Jun 7, 2024
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April 2024
- Apr 26, 2024 Shearing Day Lunch - Recipe Apr 26, 2024
- Apr 12, 2024 Wool Bedding and Sleep Science Apr 12, 2024
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January 2024
- Jan 19, 2024 Lectures and Presentation on Canadian Sheep and Wool Jan 19, 2024
- Jan 10, 2024 New Sheep - Welcome to our Registered Flock Jan 10, 2024
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November 2023
- Nov 11, 2023 Merry Maker Market Nov 11, 2023
- Nov 5, 2023 Fibre & Farm Holiday Market Nov 5, 2023
- Nov 1, 2023 Holiday Gift Guide 2023 Nov 1, 2023
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October 2023
- Oct 19, 2023 Pasture Raised Lamb for Sale Oct 19, 2023
- Oct 15, 2023 Celebrating 5 Years - RECAP Oct 15, 2023
- Oct 9, 2023 Grassland Yarn Oct 9, 2023
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September 2023
- Sep 19, 2023 Wool Mill Celebration & Reflections Sep 19, 2023
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July 2023
- Jul 31, 2023 5-Year Mill-aversary - come celebrate with us Jul 31, 2023
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June 2023
- Jun 4, 2023 Fibre & Farm - Sunday, July 16 2023 Jun 4, 2023
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January 2023
- Jan 1, 2023 Join us for a Farm & Mill Apprenticeship - Summer 2023 Jan 1, 2023
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December 2022
- Dec 27, 2022 Is the Breed Study Right For You? Dec 27, 2022
- Dec 15, 2022 NEW On-line Breed Study Dec 15, 2022
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November 2022
- Nov 26, 2022 About Wool Dryer Balls Nov 26, 2022
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August 2022
- Aug 13, 2022 A Letter to the Federal Ag Minister Aug 13, 2022
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June 2022
- Jun 10, 2022 Fibre & Farm Market Jun 10, 2022
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May 2022
- May 15, 2022 Hiring a Fibre Mill Apprentice May 15, 2022
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April 2022
- Apr 10, 2022 Shearing Festival 2022 Apr 10, 2022
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February 2022
- Feb 24, 2022 A Little Too Little.... Feb 24, 2022
- Feb 5, 2022 Canadian National Mill Inventory Survey Feb 5, 2022
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December 2021
- Dec 10, 2021 Canadian Wool Research & Data 2021 Dec 10, 2021
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August 2021
- Aug 1, 2021 The Effect of Drought on Wool Production Aug 1, 2021
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July 2021
- Jul 5, 2021 Fibre & Farm Market Jul 5, 2021
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May 2021
- May 28, 2021 SponsorSHEEP Lambs 2021 May 28, 2021
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December 2020
- Dec 16, 2020 Canadian Wool/Sheep Producers Survey Dec 16, 2020
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November 2020
- Nov 10, 2020 Holiday Gift Guide 2020 Nov 10, 2020
- Nov 1, 2020 Traceability in the Canadian Wool Supply Chain Nov 1, 2020
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August 2020
- Aug 27, 2020 Manitoba Fibre Trail Aug 27, 2020
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July 2020
- Jul 22, 2020 Flower & Fibre Natural Dye Workshops Jul 22, 2020
- Jul 8, 2020 Farm Demonstration - Growing, Harvesting and Processing Japanese Indigo Jul 8, 2020
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May 2020
- May 29, 2020 SponsorSHEEP Lambs 2020 May 29, 2020
- May 19, 2020 Building Resilient Fibre Systems in Canada - by Anna Hunter May 19, 2020
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April 2020
- Apr 14, 2020 Why Breed Specific? Apr 14, 2020
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February 2020
- Feb 18, 2020 New House Yarn - Polypay Chunky Feb 18, 2020
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November 2019
- Nov 12, 2019 Gift Guide 2019 Nov 12, 2019
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June 2019
- Jun 5, 2019 SponsorSHEEP lambs 2019 Jun 5, 2019
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May 2019
- May 19, 2019 Shearing Festival April 2019 May 19, 2019
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August 2018
- Aug 5, 2018 Lamb Day 2018 Aug 5, 2018
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June 2018
- Jun 1, 2018 SponsorSHEEP 2018 - Jun 1, 2018
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May 2018
- May 27, 2018 Shearing Day 2018 May 27, 2018
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April 2018
- Apr 6, 2018 Surprise Lambs Apr 6, 2018
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January 2018
- Jan 30, 2018 Breeding Season Part III: Chickens. (A post by Luke) Jan 30, 2018
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December 2017
- Dec 24, 2017 Breeding Season Part II: SHEEP - A Post by Luke Dec 24, 2017
- Dec 3, 2017 Breeding Season Part 1: LLAMAS - A Post by Luke Dec 3, 2017
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September 2017
- Sep 4, 2017 Our Year of Living Shepardly - A Post by Luke Sep 4, 2017
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June 2017
- Jun 18, 2017 Lamb Day - June 25th Jun 18, 2017
- Jun 11, 2017 Sponsorsheep June 2017 Jun 11, 2017
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May 2017
- May 30, 2017 REVIEW - SLOW TV: NATIONAL KNITTING NIGHT - a post by Luke May 30, 2017
- May 6, 2017 First Sponsorsheep Drop - May 7 May 6, 2017
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April 2017
- Apr 2, 2017 Naturally Dyed Eggs Apr 2, 2017
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February 2017
- Feb 5, 2017 Dakota Spinning Mill - A post by Anna Feb 5, 2017
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January 2017
- Jan 25, 2017 Training Day Jan 25, 2017
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December 2016
- Dec 12, 2016 Book Review: Haynes Sheep Manual - A post by Luke Dec 12, 2016
- Dec 4, 2016 Llama Trauma - a post by Luke Dec 4, 2016
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October 2016
- Oct 30, 2016 Chickens of Destiny - a Post by Luke Oct 30, 2016
- Oct 24, 2016 Pattern Book Review - Flotsam & Jetsam by Ash Alberg Oct 24, 2016
- Oct 17, 2016 Sheep! Oct 17, 2016
- Oct 9, 2016 THE BALLAD OF WHEEZY MCSICKY PANTS - A Post by Luke Oct 9, 2016
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September 2016
- Sep 26, 2016 Plants vs. Chickens Sep 26, 2016
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August 2016
- Aug 30, 2016 Mama Llama Drama - a post by Luke Aug 30, 2016
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July 2016
- Jul 27, 2016 Rooster Soup - Post by Luke Jul 27, 2016
- Jul 23, 2016 A Fence Post Jul 23, 2016
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June 2016
- Jun 29, 2016 Arrivederci Figaro - A post by Luke Jun 29, 2016
- Jun 11, 2016 Jurassic Marsh - A post by Luke Jun 11, 2016
- Jun 5, 2016 Drive or be Driven Jun 5, 2016
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May 2016
- May 20, 2016 Picking up Chicks May 20, 2016
- May 13, 2016 I might be crazy May 13, 2016